Key Steps:

• Identify a safe friend, family member, or advocate who knows your situation.
• Choose a code word or emoji that signals “I need help” without alerting the abuser.
• Know at least two escape routes from your home.
• Practice leaving quickly with essentials.

Critical Items Include:

• ID, driver’s license, passport
  
• Birth certificates for you and children
  
• Social security cards
  
• Immigration documents
  
• Bank cards, checkbooks
  
• Medication and prescription information
  
• Insurance cards
  
• Protective orders (if applicable)
  

Steps to take:

• Change passwords using a trusted device the abuser can’t access.
  
• Use two-factor authentication with a backup email the abuser doesn’t know about.
  
• Turn off location sharing on apps and devices.
  
• Check for tracking devices (AirTags, vehicle trackers, spyware apps).
  
• Use “incognito mode” or a safe computer (library, friend’s house) when researching resources.

Include:

• Clothes for you and children
  
• Basic toiletries
  
• Phone charger + backup power bank
  
• Cash if possible
  
• Keys (car/house/storage)
  
• Medications
  
• Emergency contacts written on paper

Strategies:

• Slowly set aside small amounts of cash somewhere safe.
  
• Open a private bank account or mobile wallet not connected to shared devices.
  
• Freeze or monitor joint credit if possible.
  
• Save screenshots or documents that show financial exploitation.

Tips:

• Leave when the abuser is asleep, at work, or out of the home.
  
• Do not announce your plan or threaten to leave.
  
• Have transportation ready (your car, ride from trusted person, rideshare if safe).
  
• Avoid predictable patterns or places.

Tips:

• Leave when the abuser is asleep, at work, or out of the home.
  
• Do not announce your plan or threaten to leave.
  
• Have transportation ready (your car, ride from trusted person, rideshare if safe).
  
• Avoid predictable patterns or places.

Possible Actions:

• File for a protective or restraining order.
  
• Request emergency custody for children.
  
• Ask law enforcement for a civil standby while you retrieve belongings.
  
• Document incidents (photos, text messages, injuries, threats).

Steps:

• Teach them a code word for danger.
  
• Show them safe rooms in the house (no kitchens/no weapons).
  
• Keep a small emergency bag for each child.
  
• Inform their school or daycare about authorized pickup lists.

Before leaving, identify:

• Domestic violence shelters (most provide confidential addresses)
  
• Hotel voucher programs
  
• Safe houses or transitional housing
  
• Family or friends who can host temporarily
  
• Local nonprofits that help with relocation

Helpful Steps:

• Reach out to a counselor or advocate trained in domestic violence.
  
• Join support groups (online or in person).
  
• Build a trusted circle of friends/family for emotional support.
  
• Create grounding routines when stress escalates.

• Update your address privately using USPS “do not forward” options.
  
• Inform your workplace and provide a photo of the abuser if appropriate.
  
• Vary your routines (commute, grocery store, gym).
  
• Keep records of any ongoing harassment or stalking.
  
• Continue using controlled communication apps for co-parenting if necessary (e.g., OurFamilyWizard).

• National DV Hotline (U.S.): 1-800-799-7233
  
• Women’s Freedom Alliance 24hr Hotline 281-698-0880
  
• Local shelters & advocates
  
• 24-hour friends/family contacts
  
• Attorney or legal aid number
  
• Police non-emergency line